Welcome to Overshare Central

by tinglyfeeling on February 3, 2009

There’s no good way to work “I have multiple sclerosis” into a conversation. In the beginning, right after the diagnosis, sure. Plenty of opportunities at that point because it’s nearly impossible to hide that you are GOING THROUGH SOME HEAVY SHIT. Well. That was my experience, anyway.

bird meet-upThose first couple weeks, I told most of my close friends, my parents (and then, 10 minutes later, my¬† mom had told our whole extended family–not awesome), sister, boss, immediate co-workers, some dude…. And then, I began to slow my rate of disclosure. Why? Because springing that news on people who care about you isn’t fun. They tend to get upset. I got tired of riding the “I’m okay, you’re okay, no really it’s okay”/”This sucks, my life is over” roller coaster.

So now I try to keep it to myself and only disclose on a need-to-know basis. For instance, I told my dentist last week. Seemed appropriate, since they’ve made my face go numb a lot. But I didn’t tell my gynocologist. Didn’t come up, didn’t feel like bringing it up. Insurance company? They won’t pay for my drugs, so why tell them?

And then there are the many, many times when I have a “huh. that’s new.” moment and want to tell the person sitting closest to me (awkward). But it’s hard to keep all this to myself. It’s new. Vexing. Utterly frightening.

So here I am, with my very own, shiny-new blog. And a Twitter (follow me!) for those aforementioned ah-ha/huh moments. But really, TinglyFeeling is about being about to speak freely about MS without fear of making people uncomfortable.

If you’re reading this, it’s because you’re interested in learning about multiple sclerosis (I hope), you have it yourself (condolences), or you know someone who does (best wishes all around). Whoever you are, I hope you’ll share your experiences with myself and other readers, ask questions, whathaveyou. And I’ll do my best to be honest, even when it seems like too much information.

Welcome to TinglyFeeling.

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  • http://brassandivory.blogspot.com/ Lisa Emrich

    Welcome to the MS Blogging Community. I’ll be reading.

  • http://brassandivory.blogspot.com Lisa Emrich

    Welcome to the MS Blogging Community. I’ll be reading.

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com/ tinglyfeeling

    Thanks, Lisa. I’ll be checking out your blog, as well. And if you have any other MS blogs to recommend, please share.

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com/ tinglyfeeling

    Thanks, Lisa. I’ll be checking out your blog, as well. And if you have any other MS blogs to recommend, please share.

  • http://www.melizzard.com/ Melizzard

    Errr.. welcome to the club? Sorry.

    You’ll learn to judge when it’s time to tell someone and who you never need to tell. One thing I’ve learned is tell people one-on-one, you don’t need to make a big deal of it but people react differently and it helps if they have the freedom to react without others observing them.

  • http://www.melizzard.com Melizzard

    Errr.. welcome to the club? Sorry.

    You’ll learn to judge when it’s time to tell someone and who you never need to tell. One thing I’ve learned is tell people one-on-one, you don’t need to make a big deal of it but people react differently and it helps if they have the freedom to react without others observing them.

  • http://www.everyonehereisjimdandy.blogspot.com/ rwboughton

    Hey, great! I look forward to reading your entries and sharing on how we deal with MS. It’s a good idea. I’m actually thinking of starting a another blog that would be wholly devoted to MS, as there is a lot of unrelated stuff in Jim Dandy.

  • http://www.everyonehereisjimdandy.blogspot.com rwboughton

    Hey, great! I look forward to reading your entries and sharing on how we deal with MS. It’s a good idea. I’m actually thinking of starting a another blog that would be wholly devoted to MS, as there is a lot of unrelated stuff in Jim Dandy.

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com/ tinglyfeeling

    Richard — That’s a big reason why I started this blog. I already have too many other places on the interwebs where I can talk about other aspects of my life, but can’t really dish about the MS because not all my “friends” and “followers” know about it. But I still felt like I needed a public place of my own to talk about this part of my life. Thanks for visiting.

    Melizzard — Totally agree about the one-on-one. I’m still getting used to telling myself that I have it, though. heh.

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com/ tinglyfeeling

    Richard — That’s a big reason why I started this blog. I already have too many other places on the interwebs where I can talk about other aspects of my life, but can’t really dish about the MS because not all my “friends” and “followers” know about it. But I still felt like I needed a public place of my own to talk about this part of my life. Thanks for visiting.

    Melizzard — Totally agree about the one-on-one. I’m still getting used to telling myself that I have it, though. heh.

  • voices w/out faces

    After I left the doctor’s office I called my friend (now my husband) to break the news to him. There was silence. Did he hang up? No, he was in shock. After I few words of comfort and I love you’s we hung up.
    Now on to the tough part…home. I had to tell news weather and sports aka my mom. I told my co-workers, and a few other’s. But, I’m not at the point where I don’t say anything, because I’m tired of hearing – you don’t like sick.

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com tinglyfeeling

    hi. sorry about your diagnosis (and my delayed response to your comment).

    it’s a really hard thing to tell people about. i called my best friend before i called my parents because she’d been so pragmatic and steady throughout the whole process of doctors’ visits and tests that it just seemed easier to tell her.

    my parents were a lot harder, for sure. when i told my mom over the phone and she relayed the info to my dad, i heard him exclaim, “No!” in the background. i hated having to put them through that. but there it was. of course, i don’t know how they really felt about it, other than devastated. we don’t really talk about it much. they have two daughters with this disease now and must have been wondering how in the hell this happened. i think my mom felt responsible for a while because of her northern-european heritage.

    anyway, at this point, rather than dwelling on the how and the why, we must move on with our lives as best as we can–for ourselves and for the people we love.

    my best to you,
    tingly feeling

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