Why I Walk

by tinglyfeeling on February 11, 2009

walking shoes

I started a team for the Walk MS Seattle. I think it’s going to be a bit like a part-time job, organizing everyone, keeping all the info straight, designing t-shirts (something with a unicorn done up like Mr. T, perhaps?), but it will be so worth it, just for the fun of it.

My friends who’ve already agreed to walk are awesome. (All my friends are awesome.) My parents will probably walk, too. Not sure about my sister. She’s having a hard time right now (more on that later).

I’m sort of thinking of the walk as my coming-out party. Everyone who’s walking already knows about my MS, but my team might grow to include people who don’t already know and I’ll have to tell them. That will be fine, though–if they care enough to walk, they obviously care enough about me to know about this.

The last time I walked was after my sister was diagnosed in 2000. Parents, parents’ friends, myself and I think a couple of my friends walked to support her. After that, we did bupkiss, other than offer her our very passive support. Ech. More on that later, too. But to sum up, we failed to understand the kind of support she needed from her family. I don’t think she really understood what she needed, either, though. She sort of retreated into herself, into denial, and pushed away our well-intentioned, but ultimately ineffectual, offers of information and resources.

Now I’m in the same boat. The parents, they love me and they try to get it, but telling me that Montel Williams has MS, giving me the name of a book on the MS diet, or pushing bottles of vitamin D on me, is not the kind of support I need right now. I need action. So I finally get what my sister was going through nine years ago, when we were all trying to be so helpful and she was so overwhelmed.

But instead of retreating, I’m choosing to jump in. At the moment, anyway, I’m trying to take charge. It’s either that, or curl up into a ball and hide under a table, which is also a frequent impulse. There is no in-between right now. Deal, or deny.

And that’s why I walk.

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  • http://www.greenandchic.com/blog carla

    I need to find out when our area will have our walk. I am so new to this, I almost don’t know where to begin. And yes, telling me about MW and how well he’s doing is not helping!

  • http://www.greenandchic.com/blog carla

    I need to find out when our area will have our walk. I am so new to this, I almost don’t know where to begin. And yes, telling me about MW and how well he’s doing is not helping!

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com/ tinglyfeeling

    You were just diagnosed, right? Do you actually want to walk right away? I waited a year to walk–I was too overwhelmed by it all to get my shit together in time for last year’s. But then, I’m still overwhelmed. heh.

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com/ tinglyfeeling

    You were just diagnosed, right? Do you actually want to walk right away? I waited a year to walk–I was too overwhelmed by it all to get my shit together in time for last year’s. But then, I’m still overwhelmed. heh.

  • http://www.tinglyfeeling.com/activism/well-most-of-us-are-walking/ well, most of us are walking

    [...] family, including my sister, has been pretty inactive around the MS cause for the last 8 years. But now this is my Walk and my friends and parents know why it’s important. I hope to do it again next year, but this [...]

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